Mentally I don't think of myself as middle aged. I have no idea how I got here, but here we are. The aches and pains in my joints, the awful symptoms of perimenopause, and carrying the burden of the mental load in my household all remind me that I am in the stage of life that is tough. I can never seem to get on top of everything and am exhausted both mentally and physically every single day.
Full time work, kids, supporting aging parents, never ending to do lists, trying to maintain friendships, trying to make time for your intimate relationship, answering emails and texts, booking in trades people, delegating tasks and reminding others to do them, planning meals, buying the food, housework, cooking, taking the dog for a walk, booking doctors’ appointments, vet appointments, and dentist appointments. Tired yet? Anyone would be. This, my friend is the reality of mid life and if you are female, most, if not all of this falls on your weary shoulders.
Middle aged women have a lot going on…. all… the time. This is why they make such interesting and engaging protagonists. Here are the reasons why.
Strange and sometimes distressing things start to happen to their bodies due to menopause
Some women lose their self-confidence, both personally and professionally which starts to affect their relationship with their partner
They may be empty nesters and now wonder who they are or where they fit in the world now their job of raising kids is over
They may be navigating separation or divorce
Many close female friendships either evolve or sadly dissolve at this time of life
Juggling a demanding career and a family at times just plain sucks
An abundance of life experience. They have more than likely lost someone close to them, overcome many challenges, had career setbacks and successes, experienced relationship trouble, and everything in between
A good story must throw obstacles and setbacks at the main character, and the character must grow in some way. There are endless possibilities with a middle-aged woman. Here are just some ideas.
Leaving un unhappy marriage, now she no longer feels obliged to stay for the kids
Taking off on an adventure with her fellow exhausted and overwhelmed friends
Dealing with teenagers
Going on a health kick
Dealing with grief
Trying to reconnect with a long-lost friend or estranged family member
Finally snapping with her family as she is sick of doing absolutely everything for everybody
Dealing with health problems or an unexpected diagnosis
One of my current works in progress follows 44-year-old Molly as she navigates the complete and utter chaos of her life, on top of arranging Christmas for her family. The title of the book is ‘Tis Not the Season To be Molly’. To give you an idea of how much you can have happening in one scene, here is a chapter from the book. Molly is sitting at her desk at work trying to book flights for her mother-in-law while constantly getting interrupted.
EXCERPT * Course language
RING RING
4th December 2024
Onto her fourth cup of coffee for the day, Molly started searching for flights. What the actual hell? Shit, they have jacked up the prices for Christmas flights even more this year. Rip off bastards. Clicking on a comparison site, she scrolled. Hobart to Sydney, 24th of December.
A familiar and irritating name came up on her phone. For Christ’s sake I am doing it now, you pushy overbearing bitch.
‘Hello Sue.’
‘Hello Molly. Have you booked my flights yet?’ Sue was promptly put on speaker as Molly proceeded to gently bang her forehead on the desk.
God, give me strength.
‘I am trying to arrange transport to the airport. No one can take me. Can you believe it, Molly? Mavis from the tennis club will be in Melbourne with her family. Dale next door is having heart surgery. Christmas of all times to go into hospital. Margaret will be in Townsville looking after her four grandkids. Barry, you know the one who organises the weekly bridge games. Well, he’ll be in Launceston for Christmas, visiting his brother. I guess I will have to book one of those shuttle bus things. Molly, are you still there?’
Yes, I’m still here. Couldn’t get a bloody word in edge ways because you didn’t draw breath. I don’t need to hear about the lives of everyone over the age of sixty-five within a twenty-kilometre radius of West Hobart Sue. ‘Yes, I’m still here. Sue, I’m confident you’ll figure it out. I’m on the site looking for flights now. I’ve been busy with work stuff. Once it’s booked, I will send you the details via email. I’ve got to go, sorry.’
She hung up the call and tried to focus on the screen. A killer headache threatened to derail her day. Two lonely ibuprofen were located lurking in the bottom of her desk drawer. She quickly downed them with the coffee that had gone cold.
Her phone rang again. ‘Hello. Is that Molly?’ The voice sounded vaguely familiar.
‘Yes, it is. Who is this?’
It’s Nina. How are you? I hope you don’t mind my calling,’ she squeaked.
I do mind and how the hell did you get my number? ‘Ah, hi Nina. I’m OK, thanks. How are you?’
‘I got your number from Miss Smeaton. I told her it was an emergency.’
Well, trying to get these tickets booked for my monster-in-law is more of an emergency for me right now, but whatever.
‘So, the first rehearsal for the kid's Christmas concert is tonight. Just making sure you hadn’t forgotten. Thought I better call and remind you.’
I did forget, shit.
‘It’s in the school hall at seven.’
‘Yes, OK, Bella and I will be there. What time does it finish?’
‘We expect to finish by nine. See you then.’
Molly needed to get home, give Laura dinner, bath her, and put her to bed before they left for the rehearsal. She wasn’t sure Julian would cope with it all while they were gone. A disturbing vision taunted her. It involved her coming home to find Laura eating the dog’s biscuits before falling asleep on the kitchen floor in her day clothes. She was convinced that her husband sometimes forgets the kids exist.
She once again tried to focus on the booking site on the screen. Right back to these flights. Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. She answered the phone again without looking to see who was calling.
‘Hello sweetheart.’
‘Oh, hi dad. How’s things? How’s mum doing?’
‘I couldn’t see her this morning. The community transport lost my booking.’
‘I’m sorry, dad. That’s awful.’
‘It’s OK. I’m re-booked for Friday. That’s not why I called. I was hoping you could do your old man a favour, love. The delivery guy is off sick, and I’ve run out of my diabetes tablets. I need you to take me to the chemist tomorrow to get my script filled out.’
Her dad was the kindest man you could ever meet. How could she say no? ‘No problem, dad. I’ll pick you up after I drop Laura off at day care. I guess I can be a bit late for work. Bye. I love you.’
‘I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. Thanks. I love you too.’
She tried to push the pending presentation out of her mind and was still waiting for the painkillers to kick in. Her headache was getting worse. A familiar knocking sound was coming from Danni’s office glass door. She was waving Molly over and frantically tapping her watch. Molly mouthed ‘I’ll be over in a minute’ when her phone rang for the fourth time.
It was Laura’s day care centre. Oh, sweet Jesus. What now? ‘Hello, this is Molly.’
‘Hi Molly. It’s Tina. Little Laura isn’t well, I’m afraid. She brought up all her lunch, and she seems to have a bit of a temperature. We have given her some Paracetamol, but she is still not doing so well. Someone needs to come and pick her up right away.’
Danni was now jumping up at down at her door, waving her arms around like a deranged cheerleader. ‘Did you try Julian? I’m at work. He works from home.’
‘Yes, we did, twice, but he’s not picking up.’
Molly shut down her computer. ‘Right. I’ll be there as soon as I can.’
Danni was glaring at her with a confused stare. She made her way over to Danni’s door. ‘Hey, sorry. I have to go. Laura’s sick.’
‘What about the presentation?’
‘It’ll have to wait. Hopefully, I’ll be in tomorrow. Julian is going to have to take a day off and step up for once. It takes two to make a child, for god’s sake.’
Molly made her way over to the lift, passing Hannah on the way. Before Hannah could shoot off her mouth, Molly blurted out, ‘Fuck off Hannah.’ Did I say that out loud? And the worst part? She was yet to book those blasted flights.
Hayley Walsh © 2024
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